doesntlastforever asked: Hi. You're perfect. Adios.

Hi. I love you. Adios.

• tourist: could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
• new yorker: no, but i could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant lol
• tourist: oh you think your clever???
• new yorker: what
• tourist: i'm going to meet my dying neice and she happens to love olive garden so her whole family is going to eat with her so she'll have a few moments of happiness
• new yorker: oh... oh god i'm so sor
• tourist: no shut the fuck up you piece of shit. i'll find it myself
• the tourist drives off and the new yorker is left to think about his life choices and his decision to be a giant condescending asshole

kinghoran:

sun chips are a gift from heaven above jesus christ

(via stylishirish)

• My Dad: I like Tom Hiddleston better with dark hair, it really brings out his blue eyes.
• My Dad:
• My Dad: That sounded gayer than I thought it would jesus christ

earthtoalexander:

god bless weddings and god bless band guys in suits

(via istolealexgaskarthsvirginity)